They say when you sleep with your lover, you are sleeping with everyone they slept with. That’s a scary thought. But what is also scary is that when you date someone you are often in a relationship with them and with the persons they’ve dated before.
We come into new relationships often bruised by past ones. The new person we are dating is often punished for sins that our previous partners committed. It’s not fair but it often happens.
During a presidential debate Senator John McCain became unnerved when Barack Obama constantly compared him to the previous president, George Bush. After a while McCain snapped, “Senator Obama, I’m not President Bush. If you want to run against President Bush, you should have run four years ago.”
Your last partner cheated so you don’t trust your new partner. Your last partner liked to watch football all day and when you see your new partner watching football it brings back a flood of memories and hurt. Be fair. Everyone deserves their own chance. While our bruises make us particularly sensitive to the touch, we have to keep in mind that we are dealing with different people.
Sure, we’re also much better at spotting bad behavior because we became experts at recognizing this in our last relationship, but don’t count someone out before they’ve been given a fair opportunity to be judged on their own merit.
“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.”
~ Barbara de Angelis
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