If You’re Going Through Hell, Don’t Stop For Coffee

If You’re Going Through Hell, Don’t Stop For Coffee
-why the only remedy for heartache is to let it break-


The first time a girl took a sledgehammer to my heart was in Jr. High. I thought I was gonna die. But apparently that was just a warm up session, life’s way of saying, “buckle up pal. We don’t call it Prep school for nothin!”

You never hear people say, “They told me what happened. I’m so sorry for the pain you must be going around! As anyone who has survived heartbreak will tell you, there is no going around.  You have to walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, get the crap kicked out of you, end up in emotional ICU, then start your thousand steps to recovery. And you will.

But understand this, there is no getting around it, you have to go THROUGH.

If you’re going through hell, I suggest you don’t stop for coffee. The one question anyone going through heartache and pain has is always the same – How do I make it stop? You can only make something “stop” if YOU keep going. It’s how you create distance between you and the pain, until it disappears in the darkness.

Driving by an ex-lover’s house to see if their car is parked in the driveway after 10pm on a Friday night. Giving in to intimacy when there’s no chance of a future. Begging someone to take you back even when you know the relationship is unhealthy. This is stopping for coffee in hell, prolonging your pain. You need to get the hell out of there.

I recently saw a celebrity faced with their own personal hell press the gas pedal through the ordeal. They were faced with unimaginable pain and public scrutiny. The kind that makes you lock yourself up in your room and cry until snot bubbles escape through your nostrils. Real pain. Real heartache. It was a pain I recognized. One that I know you can leave behind if you keep going.

Humans are ferocious. We are capable of so much more than we realize. When I see breakups and job loss and earthquakes and ebola and depression and poverty and murder, I realize that LIFE IS HARD. But when I see this celebrity, and Mandela, and you and Stephen Hawking and me and Helen Keller and everyone that has come out on the other side of hell to victory, I realize that although life is hard, SO ARE WE!

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